tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-76969044799470056162024-03-13T10:01:34.769-04:00The International Center for Limerick StudiesSerious about funny business since 2008. - - - Dr. Michael J. MacArthur, director and chief wise acre. - - - Parental Discretion Advised.Dr. Michael J. MacArthurhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00099994173766919628noreply@blogger.comBlogger1148125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7696904479947005616.post-71661350492835130732017-05-29T14:10:00.000-04:002017-05-29T14:10:01.018-04:00There once was a fellow named KentThere once was a fellow named Kent<br />
Who didn’t have funds for the rent.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>His landlady asked for sex<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>But he could not erex<br />
So he lives in the park in a tent.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
Dr. Michael J. MacArthurhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00099994173766919628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7696904479947005616.post-72456502466832242432017-04-24T09:50:00.000-04:002017-04-24T09:50:16.050-04:00There once was a fellow named HardinThere once was a fellow named Hardin<br />
Who spent all his time in his garden.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>With plants variegated<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>And some help-related,<br />
He’s locked up, awaiting a pardon.<br />
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<br /></div>
Dr. Michael J. MacArthurhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00099994173766919628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7696904479947005616.post-11754960457561173512017-04-18T13:43:00.002-04:002017-04-18T13:43:49.412-04:00A fellow named Bob DavenportA fellow named Bob Davenport<br />
Was called “Sofa” by his cohort.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>His wife was named Clare<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>But he called her “Chair”<br />
And his son was called “Otto” for short.<br />
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<br /></div>
Dr. Michael J. MacArthurhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00099994173766919628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7696904479947005616.post-11924111800911669312017-03-26T07:50:00.001-04:002017-03-26T07:50:31.643-04:00There once was a fellow from BrightonThere once was a fellow from Brighton<br />
Who was very easy to frighten.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>If he saw a spider<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>His eyes would grow sider<br />
And his sphincter would painfully tighten.<br />
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<br /></div>
Dr. Michael J. MacArthurhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00099994173766919628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7696904479947005616.post-16240513752734471212017-03-09T10:44:00.003-05:002017-03-09T10:47:51.442-05:00There once was a man from ManhattanThere once was a man from Manhattan<br />
Who looked like his face had been sattan.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Like a smiley face button<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>With no part a-juttin’.<br />
From the side, from the neck, there was nattan. <br />
<br />Dr. Michael J. MacArthurhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00099994173766919628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7696904479947005616.post-47950369907301434582017-03-08T07:49:00.001-05:002017-03-08T07:49:10.166-05:00There once was a man from PoughkeepsieThere once was a man from Poughkeepsie<br />
Who while drinking never got teepsie.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>He went from clear headed<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>To completely shredded<br />
With movements incredibly treepsie. <br />
<div>
<br /></div>
Dr. Michael J. MacArthurhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00099994173766919628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7696904479947005616.post-11409729068715289232017-01-24T13:19:00.003-05:002017-01-24T13:19:33.527-05:00There was a musician from CubaThere was a musician from Cuba<br />
Who sailed to Key West in his tuba.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>The Coast Guard saved the day<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Until they heard him play.<br />
Then they took the poor guy to Aruba.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
Dr. Michael J. MacArthurhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00099994173766919628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7696904479947005616.post-39652381629364182972016-12-05T16:26:00.000-05:002017-01-24T13:22:23.698-05:00There once was a gal named Diane<span style="font-size: large;">There once was a gal named Lou Anne</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Who felt that she needed no man.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>“I need no support</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>And most men come up short, </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">They can’t do what my vibrator can.”</span><br />
<div>
<br /></div>
Dr. Michael J. MacArthurhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00099994173766919628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7696904479947005616.post-16123705414618453852016-11-24T09:59:00.000-05:002016-11-24T09:59:32.054-05:00There once was a Thanksgiving DayThere once was a Thanksgiving Day<br />
When all the bad news went away;<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>When nobody died<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Was lonely or cried;<br />
But instead, felt like children at play.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
Dr. Michael J. MacArthurhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00099994173766919628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7696904479947005616.post-45197292824346815172016-11-22T09:29:00.000-05:002016-11-22T09:32:34.326-05:00There was a marathoner named Mike<span style="font-size: large;">There was a marathoner named Mike</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Who eschewed the car and the bike.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>He said, “I don’t care.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>If I cannot run there,</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">There is nothing there I might like.</span><br />
<div>
<br /></div>
Dr. Michael J. MacArthurhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00099994173766919628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7696904479947005616.post-24800785243984338352016-11-16T16:50:00.001-05:002016-11-16T16:50:39.486-05:00There once was a fellow named Pride<h4>
T<span style="font-weight: normal;">here once was a fellow named Pride<br />Who once fell asleep while inside<br /><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>His wife’s love canal<br /><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>With no rationale<br />‘Cept it was such a relaxing ride.</span><span style="font-weight: normal;"> </span></h4>
<h2>
<br /></h2>
Dr. Michael J. MacArthurhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00099994173766919628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7696904479947005616.post-23099001551748422822016-11-14T10:43:00.003-05:002016-11-14T10:43:36.849-05:00There once a gal named LenoreThere once was a gal named Lenore<br />
Who stood and demanded the floor.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>She said, “I don’t care<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>If you snicker or stare.”<br />
But, I’m not wearing heels any more.”<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
Dr. Michael J. MacArthurhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00099994173766919628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7696904479947005616.post-21973468859940675932016-11-05T19:11:00.001-04:002016-11-05T19:11:23.523-04:00There was a musician from CubaThere was a musician from Cuba<br />
Who sailed to Key West in his tuba.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>The Coast Guard saved the day<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Until they heard him play.<br />
Then they took the poor guy to Aruba.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
Dr. Michael J. MacArthurhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00099994173766919628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7696904479947005616.post-27025221447406981882016-10-12T10:47:00.002-04:002016-10-12T10:47:34.777-04:00There once was a fellow named SumblrThere once was a fellow named Sumblr<br />
Who posted nude selfies on Tumblr.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>To his sad surprise<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>He was lacking in size.<br />
It made him feel rueful and humblr.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
Dr. Michael J. MacArthurhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00099994173766919628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7696904479947005616.post-77634707271410219012016-10-09T13:42:00.002-04:002016-10-09T13:42:59.336-04:00Trump said, “Why are you all so fussy?Trump said, “Why are you all so fussy?<br />
So I said I would grab a girl’s pussy?<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>What I meant was her cat.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>If you don’t believe that,<br />
You’ll just have to vote for the hussy.”Dr. Michael J. MacArthurhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00099994173766919628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7696904479947005616.post-7345883212875126572016-10-07T05:03:00.001-04:002016-10-07T05:03:03.395-04:00There once was a woman named KaitlynThere once was a woman named Kaitlyn<br />
Whose dad was a prominent statesman.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>But since Kait was gay,<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>It caused Dad to say,<br />
“I’d get many more votes if you’d date men.”<br />
<br />Dr. Michael J. MacArthurhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00099994173766919628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7696904479947005616.post-58214347149658727802016-10-06T08:29:00.000-04:002016-10-06T08:29:21.395-04:00The female quadruplets named AmandusThe female quadruplets named Amandus<br />
Said, “What a cruel last name to hand us!”<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>But Mother is to blame<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>For our shared first name<br />
Making us the Amandas Amandus. Dr. Michael J. MacArthurhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00099994173766919628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7696904479947005616.post-39264390826035153242016-09-28T12:35:00.000-04:002016-09-28T12:35:03.938-04:00There once was a fellow named ClintThere once was a fellow named Clint<br />
Whose male member sported a splint.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>His friends laughed and asked why<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>But poor Clint was too shy<br />
To even give the slightest hint.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
Dr. Michael J. MacArthurhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00099994173766919628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7696904479947005616.post-42268788578450665212016-07-17T14:29:00.002-04:002016-07-17T14:29:36.769-04:00There once was a woman named Laurie<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="yshortcuts"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">There once was a woman named Laurie<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="yshortcuts"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Who lived on the 45<sup>th</sup> story<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="yshortcuts"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> Without
drapery to hide<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="yshortcuts"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> What
went on inside.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">Somewhat sexy, but not at all gory. </span></div>
Dr. Michael J. MacArthurhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00099994173766919628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7696904479947005616.post-41510243138462677702016-06-26T13:59:00.001-04:002016-06-26T13:59:01.889-04:00At the fire sat a girl named Amber<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="yshortcuts"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">At the fire sat a girl named Amber<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="yshortcuts"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Who studied each remaining ember.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<span class="yshortcuts"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">She
wanted to capture<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<span class="yshortcuts"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Her
feelings of rapture<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span class="yshortcuts"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">With crayons of
orange and umber.</span></span>Dr. Michael J. MacArthurhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00099994173766919628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7696904479947005616.post-37166813004556013172016-06-08T09:14:00.003-04:002016-06-08T09:14:34.507-04:00Tribute to nurses - There once was a nurse they called Chuck<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="yshortcuts"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">There once was a nurse they called
Chuck<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="yshortcuts"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Who bet his patients half-a-buck<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="yshortcuts"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> That
they couldn’t stand<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="yshortcuts"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> While
holding his hand.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">He always lost.</span><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">Such was his luck.</span></div>
Dr. Michael J. MacArthurhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00099994173766919628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7696904479947005616.post-32469845646842447142016-06-06T11:16:00.000-04:002016-06-06T11:16:03.753-04:00Tribute to nurses - There once was a nurse they called Amy<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="yshortcuts"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">There once was a nurse they called Any<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="yshortcuts"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Who said, “I don’t let doctors play me.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="yshortcuts"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> Those
initials, ‘M. D.’ <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="yshortcuts"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> Never
mean much to me.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">Pleasing </span><i style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">patients. </i><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">That<i>'</i>s<i> </i></span><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">why they pay
me.”</span></div>
Dr. Michael J. MacArthurhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00099994173766919628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7696904479947005616.post-47952093502297858922016-06-01T09:53:00.002-04:002016-06-01T09:53:34.141-04:00Tribute to nurses - There once was a nurse they called Betty<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="yshortcuts"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">There once was a nurse they called
Betty<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="yshortcuts"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Who always stood there at the ready<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="yshortcuts"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> To
provide a kind touch<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="yshortcuts"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> Which
meant so very much</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">To patients whose health was unsteady.</span></div>
Dr. Michael J. MacArthurhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00099994173766919628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7696904479947005616.post-757303045487698132016-05-30T11:36:00.000-04:002016-05-30T11:37:14.844-04:00There once was a fellow named Fred<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="yshortcuts"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">There once was a fellow named Fred<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="yshortcuts"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Who never let it go to his head.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="yshortcuts"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"> The
fortune, the fame,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="yshortcuts"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"> The
oft-misspelled name,</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="yshortcuts"><span style="font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Or the women lined up at his . . . <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
Dr. Michael J. MacArthurhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00099994173766919628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7696904479947005616.post-77540813407175717212016-04-04T16:46:00.000-04:002016-04-04T16:46:11.114-04:00There once was a woman named Sadie<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="yshortcuts"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">There once was a woman named Sadie;<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="yshortcuts"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">An official “crazy cat lady”.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span class="yshortcuts"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> To
pay for the litter<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span class="yshortcuts"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> She
offered on Twitter</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">Pictures of her pussy.</span><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">Now shady!</span></div>
Dr. Michael J. MacArthurhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00099994173766919628noreply@blogger.com0