There once was a fellow named Stu

There once was a fellow named Stu
Who said, “I just stepped in some snoo.”
“What’s snoo?” asked his wife
(The regret of her life)
He replied, “Not much. What’s new with you?”

I hate the old guys at Tim Horton

I hate the old guys at Tim Horton
With their wheezin’ and caughin’ and snortin’
With their comments absurd.
I thin every last word
Shows their cranial circuts are shortin’.

At the Apollo, the Prez made the sceme

At the Apollo, the Prez made the sceme
By channeling the Rev. Al Green.
The the cats ar Fox News
Started singing the blues
Because there’s no soul in their mein.

Once said by a woman named Amy.

Once said by a woman named Amy.
“My bf thinks my pussy smells gamey.
If I do not douche
And get rid of the sluice,
He’ll have a veterinarian spay me.”

There was a woman named Suzanne

There was a woman named Suzanne
Who, sadly, looked just like a man.
With a beard and a weiner,
A gruff misdemeanor,
And tits just like eggs in a pan.

There once was a girl in Gomorrah

There once was a girl in Gomorrah
Was quite a sexual explorrah.
But when someone tried to Sodom
Her delicate bodom,
She rose up and declaired, “No morrah.”

So today is Friday the Thirteenth;

So today is Friday the Thirteenth;
And all of you know what that meanth.
On a day of such doom
I’ll just stay in my roomWith Sports Illustrated swimsuit magazineth

There’s a gal who works down at McD’s

There’s a gal who works down at McD’s
Who gets down on her hands and knees
Underneath the front counter
Where managers would mout her
In front of the lastst trainees.

There once was a gal named Mariah

There once was a gal named Mariah
Who awoke with her pussy on fiah.
She told her man, Lee,
“You’ve got a S-T-D.
Please tell your brother, Josiah.”

Tribute to the Greene Brothers

There once was a fellow named Kelly
With a unique feature under his belly.
The head of his cock –
Twice as big as the stock –
Made it look somewhat like an umbrellay.

Kelly Greene, born in Chicago; bass guitar, percussion, vocals

Tribute to the Greene Brothers

There once was a fellow named Forrest
Who had quite a rep as a whorist.
No matter who cried it,
He never denied it;
Since it offset his job as a florist.

Forrest Greene, born in Memphis; guitar, vocals

Tribute to the Green Brothers

There once was a fellow named Hunter
Who told his girlfriend, “I must be blunt, dear.
If you like the heatin’
You get from being eaten,
You really should groom up your cunt hair.”

Hunter Greene, born in New Orleans. Guitar, keyboards, harmonica, vocals

There once was a fellow named Brent

There once was a fellow named Brent
Who was 3 months behind in his rent.
To prevent eviction
He offered a dick-tion
To which his landlady did not consebt.

There once was a woman named Rose

There once was a woman named Rose
Who never washed her underclothes.
She wore them one day
And then threw them away;
For what reason, nobody knows.