Said the rapper, "In spite of my riches,"

Said the rapper, "In spite of my riches,
"I'm still having trouble with bitches.
"At night they look fine
"When I'm loaded on wine
"But every morning, I wake up with witches."

The cirizens of good Baltimore

The citizens of good Baltimore
Have Edgar Allen Poe to adore.
The Rue Morgue. The Raven.
The Tell Tale Heart is my faverin.
Forget that great author? Nevermore

Go Ravens. Beat the Steelers.

A young college girl up in Devner

A young college girl up in Denver
Went out on a weekend-long bender.
She woke naked and drunk
On a mechanical bronc
Oh! She did not know how long she'd been there.

"I'm a big margarita," said Kim

"I'm a big margarita," said Kim
As she poured tequila into her quim.
She squeezed fresh lime juice
All over her coosh,
And even put salt on the rim.

From a hard day of work, our Pa

From a hard day of work, our Pa
Came home very horny for Ma.
But she had the curse
And what's even worse,
She also had hemorrhoids and lockjaw.

Consider the poor narcoleptic

Consider the poor narcoleptic
Whose condition was quite contraceptic.
In the middle of screwin'
The poor guy would swoon,
Leaving his wife apoplectic.

While walking one night by the sea

While walking one night by the sea
Margaret needed to pee.
She squatted there on the beach
Sadly within reach
Of a lobster and her children three.

This hooker down in San Diego

This hooker down in San Diego
Is so hot. You could call her “enfuego”.
Baut the best part, you see
Is she gives it for free.
Not a charger? Why didn’t you say so?

This woman in Indianapolis

This woman in Indianapolis
Likes to ride through the countryside braless.
To watch her on her colt
Is not much of a jolt
Because the poor girl is ta-ta-less.

Week three for you and me.

Consider our poor buddy Bruce

Consider our poor buddy Bruce
Who wanted to have sex with a moose.
While Bruce was insider her
A bull moose tried to ride her
And gave our old friend quite a goose.

There once was a woman named May

There once was a woman named May
Who hitched across the U S A.
To chip in for gas,
She gave up her ass
And got 410 miles per lay.

In spite of his short little dong

In spite of his short little dong
Every woman in town dated Wong.
They get satisfaction
From the remarkable action
Of his nine and three-quarter inch tongue.

A toast to by old buddy Boris

A toast to my old buddy Bpris
Who lost house and car through divoris.
One night when he came,
He shouted out "Jane"
Forgetting his wife's name was Doris.

An enterprising young hooker named Kay

Am enterprising young hooker named Kay
Was preparing for her retirement day.
"I take a buck
"From every fuck
"And put it in a 401-Kl"

This pretty young widow in Dallas

This pretty young widow in Dallas
Feels she trapped in her ex's "Cowboy Palace"
For, she misses her home
And her family in Nome
And the beautiful aurora borealis.

Go Eagles!

I know a young girl in Detroit

I know a young girl in Detroit
Who is much to world wise to exploit.
Don't think after dinner
You'll be lyin' there in her.
At dodging your passes, she's adroit.

Week two - Hooray Football!

Mortitian's assistant Yvonne

Mortitian's assistant Yvonne
Was pondering about the beyond.
"If I give head
"To a man that is dead.
"Will he still come if he's gone."

An entrepreneur in Seattle

An entrepreneur in Seattle
Planned to sell shit in a bottle.
"When I see what this ilk
"Pays for coffee and milk
"I know I'll succeed. Hell, I oughta."

Someone asked Astronaut Grace

Someone asked Astronaut Grace
About enjoying sex in space.
"All you need is a strap
"Or a velcro wrap
"To dock your box unto his face."

After delivering 9 children, Mary

After delivering 9 children, Mary
Was told this by her husband, Barry.
"You may not be virginal
"In your canal vaginal,
"But I'm betting your ass is a cherry.

An enterprising cashier named Rose

An enterprising cashier named Rose
Screwed her boss every day after close.
She said, "His little dick
"Doesn't quite do the trick,
"But his very large bank account does."

There is this woman who lives in Green Bay

There is this woman who lives in Green Bay
Who likes to make love in a keen way.
She likes to pack ‘er
Air mattress with crackers
‘Cause the crunching makes a much more obscene lay.

Welcome back, Monday Night Football

A transvestite living in Cincinnati

A transvestite living in Cincinnati
Said, “I really not trying to be catty,
“I’ve been guy and been gal,
“I guess I’ve seen it all,
“And the guy-part is always so ratty.”

Salute to NFL week 1

There once was a woman named Cheryl

There once was a woman named Cheryl
Who was banned from the group Christmas Carols.
They said, "You are flat."
She said, "Look at that!"
Disrobing to show them both barrels.

Happy Birthday, Cheryl

The girls all are hot for the charms

The girls are all hot for the charms
Of the guy with three hands and three arms.
There's one for each breast;
One east and one west
And another one down on their farms.

This fellow who lives in New York

This fellow who lives in New York
Is thought to be a giant dork.
He hands out headsets
On passenger jets.
And claims that it’s challenging work.

Welcome back, National Football League

On the phone, Jenny complained to Grace

On the phone, Jenny complained to Grace,
"Jimmy sent a bouquet to my place,
"Now he'll come over hopin'
"That my legs are wide open."
Said Grace, "Why don't you just buy a vase?"

That slimy old prick, Sid Cooker

That slimy old prick, Sid Cooker
Turned his sweet daughter into a hooker.
He sent her to class
On how to peddle her ass
And then, to a street corner he took her.
The next morning, the sweet little kid
Gave 301 dollars to Sid.
He said, "Not badly done,
"But who gave you the one?"
Wide eyed, she said, "Daddy, they all did.

Consider the spermatazoa

Consider the spermatazoa
Who has such a long way to goa,
Up through the urethra
Swimming hard just to reach the
Front porch of the tubes of Falopa.