There once was a woman named Madge

There once was a woman named Madge
Who wore her grey hair like a badge.
            Just the hair you can see
            She dyed her pubes, you see
‘Cause who wants to see a pale vag.

There once was a woman named Robin

There once was a woman named Robin
Who sat in her living room sobbin’.
            She felt so bereft
            Since her boyfriend had left
Her alone with her lady parts throbbin’.

There once was a woman named Polly

There once was a woman named Polly
Who thought birth control was a folly.
            But, 8 children later,
            She’s an appreciator
Of using the dick like a lolly.

There once was a fellow named Daniel

There once was a fellow named Daniel
Who looked like a old cocker spaniel.
            On all fours, he walked.
            He barked when he talked.
He had been made from the wrong manual.

There once was a woman named Kirsten

There once was a woman named Kirsten
Who knew a secret and was burstin’
            To tell her classmate, Bill,
            About his girlfriend, Jill,
And that he simply would not be the first in.

There once was a young girl named Jenny

There once was a young girl named Jenny
To tweeted to her followers many,
            “My birthday’s come and gone
            And I’m still all alone.
So don’t ask.  I didn’t get any."

There once was a fellow named Ernie

There once was a fellow named Ernie
A retired corporate attorney
            Keeping his clients
            In legal compliance
For so long just made his brain churney.

There once was a woman named Jackie

There once was a woman named Jackie
Who knew that her wardrobe was tacky.
            She liked her tube tops,
            Daisy Dukes and flip flops.
She considered it her form of wacky.

There once was a fellow named Muff

There once was a fellow named Muff
Who was not good-looking enough
            To get intertwined
            With any girl but the blind,
Which made dating exceedingly rough.

There once was a fellow named Hanger

There once was a fellow named Hanger
Who drank his first Harvey Wallbanger.
            Since he was alone,
            He used his cell phone
To show potential GFs his whanger.

There once was a fellow named Boone

There once was a fellow named Boone;
The first man to have sex on the moon.
            With one-sixth the gravity,
            He sated his depravity
With an inflatable girl he named, “June”.

There once was a gal named Michelle

There once was a gal named Michelle
Who’s probably going to hell.
            He stabbed her man, Jack,
            In the square of the back
When he asked her, “’Chelle, what’s that smell?”

There once was a man named McKay

There once was a man named McKay
Who worked on his lawn each McDay.
            He spread fertilizer,
            Watered like a geyser,
Now he can’t keep the grass at McBay.

There once was a gal named Darlene

There once was a gal named Darlene
Who looked like her sister, Marlene;
           'Cept Dar had broad hips
            While Mar had full lips.
But neither had boobs like Charlene.

There once was a fellow named Perry

There once was a fellow named Perry
Who everyone thought was a fairy.
            Seems he was very small –
         Only 9” tall,
With long graceful wings like a canary.