There once was a woman named Kaitlyn

There once was a woman named Kaitlyn
Whose dad was a prominent statesman.
But since Kait was gay,
It caused Dad to say,
“I’d get many more votes if you’d date men.”

The female quadruplets named Amandus

The female quadruplets named Amandus
Said, “What a cruel last name to hand us!”
But Mother is to blame
For our shared first name
Making us the Amandas Amandus.

There once was a fellow named Clint

There once was a fellow named Clint
Whose male member sported a splint.
His friends laughed and asked why
But poor Clint was too shy
To even give the slightest hint.

There once was a woman named Laurie

There once was a woman named Laurie

Who lived on the 45^th story

            Without drapery to hide

            What went on inside.

Somewhat sexy, but not at all gory. 

At the fire sat a girl named Amber

At the fire sat a girl named Amber

Who studied each remaining ember.

She wanted to capture

Her feelings of rapture

With crayons of orange and umber.

Tribute to nurses - There once was a nurse they called Chuck

There once was a nurse they called Chuck

Who bet his patients half-a-buck

            That they couldn’t stand

            While holding his hand.

He always lost.  Such was his luck.

Tribute to nurses - There once was a nurse they called Amy

There once was a nurse they called Any

Who said, “I don’t let doctors play me.

            Those initials, ‘M. D.’

            Never mean much to me.

Pleasing patients.  That's why they pay me.”

Tribute to nurses - There once was a nurse they called Betty

There once was a nurse they called Betty

Who always stood there at the ready

            To provide a kind touch

            Which meant so very much

To patients whose health was unsteady.

There once was a fellow named Fred

There once was a fellow named Fred

Who never let it go to his head.

            The fortune, the fame,

            The oft-misspelled name,

Or the women lined up at his  . . . 

There once was a woman named Sadie

There once was a woman named Sadie;

An official “crazy cat lady”.

            To pay for the litter

            She offered on Twitter

Pictures of her pussy.  Now shady!

There once was a young nurse named Rhonda

There once was a young nurse named Rhonda

Of whom the male patients were fonda.

            Since she wore her scrubs tight

            She made a welcome sight

Which made the old fellas responda.

There once was a fellow named Ethan

There once was a fellow named Ethan

Who wished he was Elizabethan.

            Round his neck, a starched ruff;

            A codpiece o’er his stuff;

And woven wool hose underneath ‘em.

There once was a young man named Colin

There once was a young man named Colin

Who was told by a hooker, “No stallin.!”

            He said, “I didn’t know

            You’d be so big below,

And I am so afraid I will fall in.”

There once was a woman named Kayla

There once was a woman named Kayla

Who thought that the Clapton song, “Layla”,

            Was written about her

            (But she was in a blur)

When he took her down to Venezuela.

There once was s youngster named Hackett

There once was s youngster named Hackett

Who was boss of the seventh-grade racket.

            He sold wedgie protection;

            Was a Playboy connection,

Stole your lunch to make you buy back it.