Monday, December 5, 2016

There once was a gal named Diane

There once was a gal named Diane
Who felt that she needed no man.
“I need no support
And most men come up short, 
They can’t do what my vibrator can.”

Thursday, November 24, 2016

There once was a Thanksgiving Day

There once was a Thanksgiving Day
When all the bad news went away;
When nobody died
Was lonely or cried;
But instead, felt like children at play.

Tuesday, November 22, 2016

There was a marathoner named Mike

There was a marathoner named Mike
Who eschewed the car and the bike.
He said, “I don’t care.
If I cannot run there,
There is nothing there I might like.

Wednesday, November 16, 2016

There once was a fellow named Pride

There once was a fellow named Pride
Who once fell asleep while inside
His wife’s love canal
With no rationale
‘Cept it was such a relaxing ride.
 


Monday, November 14, 2016

There once a gal named Lenore

There once was a gal named Lenore
Who stood and demanded the floor.
She said, “I don’t care
If you snicker or stare.”
But, I’m not wearing heels any more.”

Saturday, November 5, 2016

There was a musician from Cuba

There was a musician from Cuba
Who sailed to Key West in his tuba.
The Coast Guard saved the day
Until they heard him play.
Then they took the poor guy to Aruba.

Wednesday, October 12, 2016

There once was a fellow named Sumblr

There once was a fellow named Sumblr
Who posted nude selfies on Tumblr.
To his sad surprise
He was lacking in size.
It made him feel rueful and humblr.

Sunday, October 9, 2016

Trump said, “Why are you all so fussy?

Trump said, “Why are you all so fussy?
So I said I would grab a girl’s pussy?
What I meant was her cat.
If you don’t believe that,
You’ll just have to vote for the hussy.”

Friday, October 7, 2016

There once was a woman named Kaitlyn

There once was a woman named Kaitlyn
Whose dad was a prominent statesman.
But since Kait was gay,
It caused Dad to say,
“I’d get many more votes if you’d date men.”

Thursday, October 6, 2016

The female quadruplets named Amandus

The female quadruplets named Amandus
Said, “What a cruel last name to hand us!”
But Mother is to blame
For our shared first name
Making us the Amandas Amandus.

Wednesday, September 28, 2016

There once was a fellow named Clint

There once was a fellow named Clint
Whose male member sported a splint.
His friends laughed and asked why
But poor Clint was too shy
To even give the slightest hint.

Sunday, July 17, 2016

There once was a woman named Laurie

There once was a woman named Laurie
Who lived on the 45th story
            Without drapery to hide
            What went on inside.
Somewhat sexy, but not at all gory. 

Sunday, June 26, 2016

At the fire sat a girl named Amber

At the fire sat a girl named Amber
Who studied each remaining ember.
She wanted to capture
Her feelings of rapture
With crayons of orange and umber.

Wednesday, June 8, 2016

Tribute to nurses - There once was a nurse they called Chuck

There once was a nurse they called Chuck
Who bet his patients half-a-buck
            That they couldn’t stand
            While holding his hand.
He always lost.  Such was his luck.

Monday, June 6, 2016

Tribute to nurses - There once was a nurse they called Amy

There once was a nurse they called Any
Who said, “I don’t let doctors play me.
            Those initials, ‘M. D.’
            Never mean much to me.
Pleasing patients.  That's why they pay me.”