Tuesday, July 22, 2014

I once loved a girl named Renee

I once loved a girl named Renee.
Her smile would brighten every day.
            I heart would go “Zoom”
            When she entered a room,
But I loved to watch her walk away.

Monday, July 21, 2014

There once was a fellow named Bruce

There once was a fellow named Bruce
Who looked like a moose on the loose.
            He thrashed through the house
            Trying to catch a grouse
For reasons that seemed quite obtuse.

Sunday, July 20, 2014

There once was a woman named Sunny

There once was a woman named Sunny
Who found a great way to make money.
            She walked down the street
            In just her bare feet
Which podophiles had smeared with honey.

Friday, July 18, 2014

There once was a woman named Judy.

There once was a woman named Judy.
At 70, she still was a cutie.          
            With a lifetime of care
            To her sweet derriere,
She’s was the home’s most ogled booty.

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

There once was a young boy named Sasha

There once was a young boy named Sasha
Who stomped around trying to squash a
            Big ugly centipede
            To watch the thing bleed
On the brand-new carpet in the dacha.

Monday, July 14, 2014

There once was a gal named Louise

There once was a gal named Louise
With an unusual way to sneeze.
            It came from a place
            Nowhere near her face.
But rather from between her knees.

Sunday, July 13, 2014

There once was a woman named Jessi

There once was a woman named Jessi
Who felt that her life was too stressi.
            She had too much passion
            About the modern fassion.
So she walked about town all undressi.

Thursday, July 10, 2014

There was a young woman named Cinnamon

There was a young woman named Cinnamon
Who lived on diet soda and pemmican.
            The number of calories
            To stay rooted in a breeze
Means six pounds of corn daily, minimum.

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

There was an old man named Sylvaintia

There was an old man named Sylvaintia
Who sat there all day to complaintia.
            If you’re late with his tea
            Or to change the TV
He’d jump up and take his old caintia.

Monday, July 7, 2014

There once was a youing man named Rollie

There once was a young man named Rollie
Who rode to his job on the trolley.
            Every day you could trust
            Seeing him getting bussed,
Riding to his job on the trolley.

Sunday, July 6, 2014

There once was a fellow named Bellow

There once was a fellow named Bellow
Who ate only strawberry Jell-o®.
            His skin was bright pink.
            His farts did not stink,
But smelled like a Lucky Charm® marshmallow.

Saturday, July 5, 2014

There once was an Anglican Minister

There once was an Anglican Minister
Who wanted to do something sinister.
            But his heart wasn’t in
            For any serious sin,
So he just made out with his twin sister.

Thursday, July 3, 2014

There once was a girl named Eilene

There once was a girl named Eilene
Who said, “Yes, I’m the school make-out queen.
            So, watch your hands, Grover.
            I’m not a pushover.
But, buy me a drink and I lean."

Wednesday, July 2, 2014

There once was a young man named Tapper

There once was a young man named Tapper
Who wanted to become a rapper.
            But he could not rhyme,
            Or even keep time
So he’s working as a beaver trapper.

Monday, June 30, 2014

There once was a young girl named Joyce

There once was a young girl named Joyce
Who liked to hand out with the boyce.
            When she come of age,
            She wrote on her web page,
“I’ll take girls, if I’m given the choyce.”