Monday, April 4, 2016

There once was a woman named Sadie

There once was a woman named Sadie;
An official “crazy cat lady”.
            To pay for the litter
            She offered on Twitter
Pictures of her pussy.  Now shady!

Sunday, April 3, 2016

There once was a young nurse named Rhonda

There once was a young nurse named Rhonda
Of whom the male patients were fonda.
            Since she wore her scrubs tight
            She made a welcome sight
Which made the old fellas responda.

Tuesday, March 29, 2016

There once was a fellow named Ethan

There once was a fellow named Ethan
Who wished he was Elizabethan.
            Round his neck, a starched ruff;
            A codpiece o’er his stuff;
And woven wool hose underneath ‘em.

Sunday, March 27, 2016

There once was a young man named Colin

There once was a young man named Colin
Who was told by a hooker, “No stallin.!”
            He said, “I didn’t know
            You’d be so big below,
And I am so afraid I will fall in.”

Thursday, March 24, 2016

There once was a woman named Kayla

There once was a woman named Kayla
Who thought that the Clapton song, “Layla”,
            Was written about her
            (But she was in a blur)
When he took her down to Venezuela.

Tuesday, March 22, 2016

There once was s youngster named Hackett

There once was s youngster named Hackett
Who was boss of the seventh-grade racket.
            He sold wedgie protection;
            Was a Playboy connection,
Stole your lunch to make you buy back it.

Sunday, March 20, 2016

There once was a fellow named Max

There once was a fellow named Max
Who liked to slap folks on their backs.
            Everyone was his friend;
            On that we could depend.
Except for the Arabs and Blacks.

Wednesday, March 16, 2016

There once was a woman named Cherry

There once was a woman named Cherry
Who married a fellow named Berry.
            Their union brought forth fruit,
            Three children, all so cute,
Named Clementine, Peaches and Peary.

Monday, March 14, 2016

There once was a fellow named Wise

There once was a fellow named Wise
Who lived for the eating of pies.
            He loved the black berry,
            Coconut and cherry.
Yes, the ones he found between their thighs

Tuesday, March 8, 2016

There once was a fellow named Pride
Who had a seizure while inside
            His wife’s love canal.
           It was just petit mal,
But she told him she enjoyed the ride.

Monday, March 7, 2016

There once was a fellow named Hector

There once was a fellow named Hector;
A New York skyscraper erector.
            We think he’s insane
            To work high in that crane
With a hard hat as his only protector

Thursday, March 3, 2016

There once was a patient named Ben

There once was a patient named Ben
Who broke his hips chasing a hen.
            His condition got worse
            When a turn for the nurse
Made him fracture his pelvis again.

Monday, February 29, 2016

There was a Jamaican named Kofi

There was a Jamaican named Kofi
Who complained about being too coughy.
            He saw a physician
            Who took the opinion
That he should drink more or less coffee.

Thursday, February 25, 2016

There once was a woman named Lee

There once was a woman named Lee
Who lived in a house in a tree.
            She often took a chance
            And sat without pants
To give birders* something new to see.

*bird watchers

Wednesday, February 24, 2016

There once was a fellow named Peter

There once was a fellow named Peter
Whose seminal fluid was sweeter
            Than strawberries and cream.
            But yet, not a girl’s dream
Since the volume was over a liter.