Thursday, December 18, 2014

There once was a fellow named Hyrum

There once was a fellow named Hyrum
Who lived in an insane asylum.
            He was stuck there because
            He thought that he was
A member of the sunflower phylum.

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

There once was a fellow named Spelling

There once was a fellow named Spelling
Who made his first commission selling.
            He said,” When I get paid,
            I going to get laid.
Assuming I find someone willing.”

Sunday, December 14, 2014

There once was a rock group called Yes

There once was a rock group called Yes
Who took to the stage to confess,
            “The meaning of our lyrics
            May give mental hysterics
But, even we don’t have a guess.”

Thursday, December 11, 2014

There once was a nan from Jamaica

There once was a nan from Jamaica
A ganga-smoking record breaka.
            In the course of one week
            This dread-lock├ęd freak
Smoked the production of a whole acca.

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Once said by a fellow named Will.

Once said by a fellow named Will.
“If I want to bungee, I will.”
            Until one fateful leap
            In a place not so deep
Made his family cash in his will.

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

There once was a woman named Ida

There once was a woman named Ida
Who loved having a man insida.
            But, just for a while
            ‘Til she said with a smile,
“Sorry pal, but I must override ya.”

Saturday, November 22, 2014

There once was a fellow named Dingess;

There once was a fellow named Dingess;
A proponent of cunnilingus.
            He’s an expert, they say,
            Of the technique de francais,
So there’s simply no need for his thingus.

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

At the club, a woman named Nance

At the club, a woman named Nance
Had a vibrator on in her pants.
            When I asked her why
            She said, “I would die
If my housekeeper found it by chance.”

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

There once was a fellow named Cray

There once was a fellow named Cray
Who tried to make love every day.
            But since he was not good,
            No sane woman would;
And the crazy ones gave up halfway.

Friday, October 24, 2014

There is a young fellow named Gates

There is a young fellow named Gates
Who claims he never masterbates.
            Except once every morn;
            At noon watching porn;
And before bed, which his wife just hates.

Thursday, October 23, 2014

There once was a fellow named Max

There once was a fellow named Max
Who never paid his income tax.
            The dread IRS
            Took away his address.
Now he lives in a network of shacks.

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

There once was a fellow named William

There once was a fellow named William
Whose Mom said, “You’re one in a milliam.
            You’re so handsome and smart
            In both science and art.
If you were fiber, you’d be psyllium.”

Thursday, October 16, 2014

There once was a girl with no name

There once was a girl with no name
Who never knew fortune or fame.
            She was not allowed
            To learn how to be proud.
Her femaleness just brought her shame.

Celebrate Blog Action Day.  Bloggers across the globe are writing and talking about “Inequality” today.  Please join the discussion and do some small thing to advance equality today.

Monday, October 13, 2014

There once was a fellow named Jay

There once was a fellow named Jay
(Who we’re not going to call gay).
            But he always was clean,
            Well-groomed nicely lean.
He’d be quite a catch, either way.

Thursday, October 2, 2014

There was an old fellow named Dutch

There was an old fellow named Dutch
Who walked around town with a crutch.
            He did not really need it
            But he refused to cede it
Since his neighbor was such a soft touch.