Friday, October 24, 2014

There is a young fellow named Gates

There is a young fellow named Gates
Who claims he never masterbates.
            Except once every morn;
            At noon watching porn;
And before bed, which his wife just hates.

Thursday, October 23, 2014

There once was a fellow named Max

There once was a fellow named Max
Who never paid his income tax.
            The dread IRS
            Took away his address.
Now he lives in a network of shacks.

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

There once was a fellow named William

There once was a fellow named William
Whose Mom said, “You’re one in a milliam.
            You’re so handsome and smart
            In both science and art.
If you were fiber, you’d be psyllium.”

Thursday, October 16, 2014

There once was a girl with no name

There once was a girl with no name
Who never knew fortune or fame.
            She was not allowed
            To learn how to be proud.
Her femaleness just brought her shame.

Celebrate Blog Action Day.  Bloggers across the globe are writing and talking about “Inequality” today.  Please join the discussion and do some small thing to advance equality today.

Monday, October 13, 2014

There once was a fellow named Jay

There once was a fellow named Jay
(Who we’re not going to call gay).
            But he always was clean,
            Well-groomed nicely lean.
He’d be quite a catch, either way.

Thursday, October 2, 2014

There was an old fellow named Dutch

There was an old fellow named Dutch
Who walked around town with a crutch.
            He did not really need it
            But he refused to cede it
Since his neighbor was such a soft touch. 

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

There once was a woman named Jeannie

There once was a woman named Jeannie
Who strolled the beach in a bikini.
            She’d stop near a guy,
            Stretch her back or her thigh
To gauge the effect on his weenie.

Sunday, September 28, 2014

There once was a fellow named Block

There once was a fellow named Block;
A successful broker of stock.
            When the markets abate
            He comes to work late
‘Cause his Rolex is (sadly) in hock.

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

There once was a woman named Paula

There once was a woman named Paula
Who wanted to make her butt smalla.
            She said, “I have ran
            And squatted all I can.
But men still say, ‘Back up that trawla.’”

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

There once was a young man named Dale

There once was a young man named Dale
Who planned a men-only yard sale.
            To get men to come
            He beat on the drum
To say that he’l rented some tail.

Monday, September 8, 2014

I once asked a fellow named Dennis

I once asked a fellow named Dennis
What he’d do with his income from tennis.
            “I’ll see that canal city
            That looks oh so pretty.
Amsterdam!  Not that creepy old Venice.”

Saturday, September 6, 2014

There was an old fellow named Kest

There was an old fellow named Kest
Who could make love twice (with a rest).
            He swears on his life,
            And says that his wife
Prefers the one in the spring best.

Thursday, September 4, 2014

There once was a fellow named Donnie

There once was a fellow named Donnie
Who lived on the banks of the Suwanee.
            A true country boy,
            His primary joy
Was to drink moonshine ‘til he got yawny.

Monday, September 1, 2014

There once were triplets named Faith, Hope and Charity

There once was a triplet named Faith
Who believed not in angel or wraith.
            “For as long as I live
            I’ll have free love to give.
‘Cause in death, I’ll have no one to layth.”

There once was a triplet named Hope
Who has found dead, hanging from a rope.
            “I’ve enjoyed laying men
            More than just now and then.
With the lonely mornings, I cannot cope.”

There once was a triplet named Charity
Who felt that true love was a rarity.
            So, she layed whom she could.
            “Some were bad.  Some were good.
Which sums up my life with such clarity.”

Thursday, August 28, 2014

There once was a woman named Hecht

There once was a woman named Hecht;
 A vegan before it was correcht.
            She claimed, “The protein I need
            I get From a man’s seed,
And works  out the muscles of my necht.”