Monday, June 29, 2015

Superman has good reason to vent

Superman has good reason to vent.
Everybody knows he is Clark Kent.
            Luthor gave him a shock
            When he bought the whole block
And quintupled Superman’s rent.

Sunday, June 28, 2015

A studly young fellow named Les

A studly young fellow named Les
Delivers for 3C Express.
            He brings French champagne,
            Fine chocolates from Spain,
And the third “C”?  Cunnilingus, I guess.

Saturday, June 27, 2015

There once was a fellow named Davy

There once was a fellow named Davy
Who’s probably still in the Navy.
            While listening to Billy
            He’d drink himself silly
And then walk like the floor was all wavy.

Thursday, June 25, 2015

Choose your last line limerick

There once was a fellow named Joe
Who sat on the fence like a crow.
            He would let loose a “Caw!”
            Every time that he saw
A woman he might like to know.

Or

A kid with his pants down too low.

Wednesday, June 24, 2015

There once was a woman named Mead

There once was a woman named Mead
Who said, “I have all that I need
            Of men on the phone
            Who won’t leave me alone.
Just show up once a week, do the deed.”

Tuesday, June 23, 2015

A couple named Susan and Scout

A couple named Susan and Scout
Were friends with benefits, without doubt.
As it often portends
They remain only friends
Since the benefit package ran out.

Monday, June 22, 2015

There once was a woman named Wanda

There once was a woman named Wanda
Who stuck her bare behind out her winda.
            The intent was clear.
            We could all kiss her rear.
And the arrow tattoo left no wonda.

Sunday, June 14, 2015

There once was a young man named Mike

There once was a young man named Mike
Who set out across town on his bike
            To visit his best girl
            And give her a twirl,
Where he found out that she was on strike.

Tuesday, June 9, 2015

Obscure geological reference limerick -- There once was a fellow named Kurt

Obscure geological reference limerick

There once was a fellow named Kurt
Who slept in a ball in the dirt
            Kept in a compartment
            Of his penthouse apartment
As a mixture of gravel and chert.

Monday, June 8, 2015

There once was a fellow named Earl

There once was a fellow named Earl
Who once was a woman named Pearl.
            On the very first day
            He got a raise in pay
Just for letting his pee-place unfurl.

Support EGE -- Economic Gender Equity

Sunday, June 7, 2015

There once was a fellow named Wychem

There once was a fellow named Wychem.
When biker chicks wanted to kick him,          
            He offered a servix
            Somewhere near the cervix
Thinking, “If I can’t lick ‘em, I’ll lick ‘em.”

Wednesday, June 3, 2015

There once was a fellow named Hans

There once was a fellow named Hans
Who has neither right or left hands.
           Since that’s how he was born.
            He never views porn
To avoid arousing his glands.

Monday, June 1, 2015

There once was a fellow named Stanley

There once was a fellow named Stanley,
The personification of manly.
            He was tall.  He was cut.
            Perfect abs.  Better butt.
But so immature.  Peter Panly.