Thursday, June 27, 2013

There once was a fellow named Darfur

There once was a fellow named Darfur
Who wanted to be like King Arthur.
          He constructed a sword
          Of paint and cardboard
But materials for armor was dearther.

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

There once was a fellow named Peter

There once was a fellow named Peter
Whose dick was as long as a meter.
          He carried steel plates
          To act as counterweights
If, while aroused, he started to teeter.

Sunday, June 23, 2013

There once was a fellow from Dayton


There once was a fellow from Dayton

Who constructed an adult playpen.

          Hot tubs and trapezes

          And pads for the kneeses

To cause any penis to straighten.

Saturday, June 22, 2013

There once was a woman named Gladys

There once was a woman named Gladys
Who looked forward to Friday night grab ass.
          At 77
          Her version of Heaven
Was the feel of a male’s hard unclad ass.

Friday, June 21, 2013

There once was a woman named Esther

There once was a woman named Esther
Who the neighborhood kids loved to pester.
          The children were so bad,
          That they made her so mad,
That she’d offer the one-finger gesture

Thursday, June 20, 2013

There was a man called Bondurant

There was a man called Bondurant
Who wanted his own restaurant.
          But his menu unique
Closed it down in a week.
No one wanted a baloney croissant.

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

There once was a fellow named Loring

There once was a fellow named Loring
Who bragged of his sexual scoring.
          But the people who knew him
          Would simply pooh-pooh him,
‘Cause they knew he spent his nights snoring.

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

There once was a fellow named Reust

There once was a fellow named Reust
Who cat on the fence post to roost’
          Just like a big bird
          Which seemed so absurd
Because there was no egg produced.

Monday, June 17, 2013

There was a young girl named Adela

There was a young girl named Adela
Who enjoyed sex with her umbrella.
          With it deep in her snatch,
          She released the catch
Which ruined her for any fella.

Sunday, June 16, 2013

There once was a woman from Dallas

There once was a woman from Dallas
Who searched for the ultimate phallus;
          Big enough to matter
          But not one to shatter
Her delicate pelvic love chalice.

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

The TV show, “leave It To Beaver”

The TV show, “Leave It To Beaver”,
Featured a silly kid, not a beaver.
          In the 60s, you know,
          No television show
Would actually show a real beaver.

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

There once was a fellow named Lee

There once was a fellow named Lee
Who Said, “I am glad I’m a he.
          I’d hate it for sure,
          If I were a her;
‘Cause I’d have to date people like me.” 

Sunday, June 9, 2013

There once was a fellow named Dwayne

There once was a fellow named Dwayne
Who always ate his pancakes plain.
He never used syrup
Because it would stir up
Memories of his boyhood in Maine.

Saturday, June 8, 2013

After moving to Windsor, Al said

After moving to Windsor, Al said,
“I have trouble every night in bed.”
          Try as I please
          I can’t catch any Zs
‘Cause in Canada, they call it Zed.”