Wednesday, March 31, 2010

There once was a fellow named Thomas

There once was a fellow named Thomas
Who made his dear Mother a promise
To not go with girls
With their lipstick and curls,
But didn’t say anything about llamas.

Monday, March 29, 2010

There once was a gal in the French Quarter

There once was a gal in the French Quarter
Who wanted a nice fellow to court her.
She showed off her tits
Which started a blitz
But non of them could really support her.

Sunday, March 28, 2010

There once was a artist named Prince

There once was a artist named Prince
Whose songs made the old people wince.
But they gave him a role
In the big Super Bowl,
And he’s been mainstream ever since.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Everybody’s doing this P90X.

Everybody’s doing this P90X.
They claim that it’s better than sex.
I don’t want to be rude,
But if you are a dude,
I do not want to eyeball your pecs.

Friday, March 19, 2010

There once was a fellow named Jack

There once was a fellow named Jack
Who had the world’s largest nut-sack
The way he was built
Made him wear a kilt
And his last name doesn’t begin with a “Mac”.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

There once was a woman named Wanda;

There once was a woman named Wanda;
Of enormous cocks she was fonda.
For goodness sake,
She once fucked a snake!
Of course, it was an anaconda.

Monday, March 15, 2010

I typed “nude celebrities” on Google

I typed “nude celebrities” on Google
Expecting a boob and butt gaggle.
But I got sent right
To this limerick site,
So I got no jiggle, just a giggle.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

His girlfriend once asked Billy Corgan

His girlfriend once asked Billy Corgan*,
Which was his favorite organ.
He felt the Hammond B-3
Had the best nusicality,
But she meant hers of her sister, Morgan’s

*Leader of the Smashing Pumpkins**

**A great rock band of the Nineties

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

There once was a woman named Holly

There once was a woman named Holly
Who looked just like Salavadore Dali
Had designed her clothes,
From her hat to her hose,
About which her friends could only say, “Golly!”

Monday, March 8, 2010

There once was a fellow named Brewer

There once was a fellow named Brewer
Who maintains a Beverly Hills sewer.
He’s found folks will pay
For what celebs flush away.
He’s a waste-matter entrepreneur.

Friday, March 5, 2010

There once was a woman named Olga,

There once was a woman named Olga,
Whose talk was exceeding vulga.
“Fuck my ass,” she might say,
“Lick my pussy all day.”
Which is odd since she’s a non-indulga.

Monday, March 1, 2010

There once was a gal named Celesta

There once was a gal named Celesta
Who went to the club with a Winchester.
She went inside armed
Not to prevent being harmed
But to help find someone to molest her.