Monday, June 30, 2014

There once was a young girl named Joyce

There once was a young girl named Joyce
Who liked to hand out with the boyce.
            When she come of age,
            She wrote on her web page,
“I’ll take girls, if I’m given the choyce.”

Sunday, June 29, 2014

Harry the novice bus driver

Harry the novice bus driver
Was known as a early arriver.
            But, just during sex
            With his soon-to-be ex
Because he’s an orgasm depriver.

Saturday, June 28, 2014

There once was a student named Rufus

There once was a student named Rufus
Who showed his teacher he was “toofess”.
            He showed her with a grin
            Where his front teeth had been,
For a college senior, he was a doofus.

Thursday, June 26, 2014

There once was a woman from Boston

There once was a woman from Boston
Who like to apply chocolate frostin’
            To her nipples and clit,
            More than just a bit;
Enough for her man to get lost in.

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

There once was a fellow named Bill

There once was a fellow named Bill
Who lived at the top of a hill.
            His girlfriend, although,
            Was lived too far below.
She might as well been in Brazil.

Sunday, June 22, 2014

There once was a girl named Doreen

There once was a girl named Doreen
Who wanted to be a chorine*
            She gave up romancing
            To work on her dancing
Which was not how to get herself seen.

*chorus girl

Friday, June 20, 2014

There was a nusician named Simon

There was a musician named Simon
Who gave up on melody and rhymin’.
            Now he pounds on a table,
            Red faced and unstable,
And his presence on YouTube is climbin’.

Wednesday, June 18, 2014

There once was a fellow named Proctor

There once was a fellow named Proctor
Who lost his license as a doctor.
            He was told by his nurse
            That his patients were worse,
So he put on a glove and he socked her.

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

There once was a woman named Madge

There once was a woman named Madge
Who wore her grey hair like a badge.
            Just the hair you can see
            She dyed her pubes, you see
‘Cause who wants to see a pale vag.

Monday, June 16, 2014

There once was a woman named Robin

There once was a woman named Robin
Who sat in her living room sobbin’.
            She felt so bereft
            Since her boyfriend had left
Her alone with her lady parts throbbin’.

Sunday, June 15, 2014

There once was a woman named Polly

There once was a woman named Polly
Who thought birth control was a folly.
            But, 8 children later,
            She’s an appreciator
Of using the dick like a lolly.

Thursday, June 12, 2014

There once was a fellow named Daniel

There once was a fellow named Daniel
Who looked like a old cocker spaniel.
            On all fours, he walked.
            He barked when he talked.
He had been made from the wrong manual.

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

There once was a woman named Kirsten

There once was a woman named Kirsten
Who knew a secret and was burstin’
            To tell her classmate, Bill,
            About his girlfriend, Jill,
And that he simply would not be the first in.

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

There once was a young girl named Jenny

There once was a young girl named Jenny
To tweeted to her followers many,
            “My birthday’s come and gone
            And I’m still all alone.
So don’t ask.  I didn’t get any."

Monday, June 9, 2014

There once was a fellow named Ernie

There once was a fellow named Ernie
A retired corporate attorney
            Keeping his clients
            In legal compliance
For so long just made his brain churney.

Sunday, June 8, 2014

There once was a woman named Jackie

There once was a woman named Jackie
Who knew that her wardrobe was tacky.
            She liked her tube tops,
            Daisy Dukes and flip flops.
She considered it her form of wacky.

Saturday, June 7, 2014

There once was a fellow named Muff

There once was a fellow named Muff
Who was not good-looking enough
            To get intertwined
            With any girl but the blind,
Which made dating exceedingly rough.

Friday, June 6, 2014

There once was a fellow named Hanger

There once was a fellow named Hanger
Who drank his first Harvey Wallbanger.
            Since he was alone,
            He used his cell phone
To show potential GFs his whanger.

Thursday, June 5, 2014

There once was a fellow named Boone

There once was a fellow named Boone;
The first man to have sex on the moon.
            With one-sixth the gravity,
            He sated his depravity
With an inflatable girl he named, “June”.

Wednesday, June 4, 2014

There once was a gal named Michelle

There once was a gal named Michelle
Who’s probably going to hell.
            He stabbed her man, Jack,
            In the square of the back
When he asked her, “’Chelle, what’s that smell?”

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

There once was a man named McKay

There once was a man named McKay
Who worked on his lawn each McDay.
            He spread fertilizer,
            Watered like a geyser,
Now he can’t keep the grass at McBay.

Monday, June 2, 2014

There once was a gal named Darlene

There once was a gal named Darlene
Who looked like her sister, Marlene;
           'Cept Dar had broad hips
            While Mar had full lips.
But neither had boobs like Charlene.

Sunday, June 1, 2014

There once was a fellow named Perry

There once was a fellow named Perry
Who everyone thought was a fairy.
            Seems he was very small –
         Only 9” tall,
With long graceful wings like a canary.