Monday, September 30, 2013

There once was a fellow named Ben

There once was a fellow named Ben
Who has to pass gas now and then.
          But since he can’t smell,
          He never can tell
The distress he causes his fellow men.

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

There once was a young girl named Hayden

There once was a young girl named Hayden
Whose Mother kept her in a playpen.
          Since the girl’s seventeen,
          That seems somewhat mean
But Mom wants to keep her a maiden.

Monday, September 23, 2013

Lose-A-Letter Limerick - Alice

 There once was a young girl named Alice
Who was sent home from grade school with lice.
          They cut all her hair
          To find no bugs there,
Because her classmates told a lie.

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

There once was a woman from Spain

There once was a woman from Spain
Who walked on the plain in the rain.
          No umbrella.  No clothes.
          It’s her chance to expose
Her ass in the public domain.

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

9/11 demonstrated

9/11 demonstrated
Americans were underrated.
          But bravery of those
          Who chose to oppose
Fear and terror cannot be debated.
 
In memoriam to the passengers and crew of Flight 93.

Sunday, September 8, 2013

Lose-A-Letter Limerick - George

 There once was a fellow named George
Who lived in a shack by a gorge
          He lived off the grid
          Like his ancestors did
Which made him a pal of Al Gore.
 

Saturday, September 7, 2013

There once was a farm boy named Snyder

There once was a farm boy named Snyder
Who worked for his Aunt pressing cider.
          Until one day, the fool,
          Smashed his personal tool,
Daydreaming about being insider her.

Friday, September 6, 2013

I beg you! Bring back the Road Runner!

I beg you!  Bring back the Road Runner!
There is no cartoon that is funner!
          With old Wile I. Coyote.
          (Was he high on peyote?)
Make it an eternal rerunner!

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

There once was a fellow named Stryker

There once was a fellow named Stryker
Who slept with the wife of a biker.
          He was caught at the scene
          And never again seen,
‘Cept his balls, which were found by a hiker.

Sunday, September 1, 2013

There once was a girl on the bayou

There once was a girl on the bayou
Who liked nothing more than to screw.
          She kept a vibrator
          Shaped just like a ‘gator,
Just in case there was no one to do.