There once was a fellow from Dearborn

There once was a fellow from Dearborn
Who spent all his time watching net porn
Despite what’s on his screen
The only real pussy he’s seen
Was his mom’s on the day he was born.

Sue told the bartender, for a drink

Sue told the bartender, for a drink
She’d give him a blow job by the sink.
He said. “Suck my dick first;
If you still have a thirst;
Drinks are on the house, whatd’ya think?”

Louisa is regarded as a slut

Louisa is regarded as a slut,
Just because she enjoys sex in her butt,
And down her throat
And with a goat
And the whole night crew at Pizza Hut.

Josephine thought it was quite flirty

Josephine thought it was quite flirty
To attract men with language quite dirty.
Her girlfriends said, “No.”
But I told her, “Jo,
I think ‘Fuck me in the ass’ is quite purty.”

No post today

Watching the NFL Draft. Go Lions.

At work, Bob complained about his streak

At work, Bob complained about his streak,
Stating, “I haven’t had sex for a week.”
Josette played along
And said, “Gee, what’s wrong?
Did your inflatable girl spring a leak?”

Katy, a gal from Madrid

Katy, a gal from Madrid
Said, while 69ing old Sid.
“If you don’t make me click,
I will bite off your dick.”
Sadly, Sid didn’t but Katydid.

The Postal Service is honoring Homer

The Postal Service is honoring Homer;
Not the Greek, the Fox network gomer.
The Simpsons on stamps
Might give some people cramps;
Maybe next year for the Illiad’s poemer.

The national mystery is at last over

The national mystery is at last over.
The Obamas have selected their “Rover”.
If he house-breaks their pet
There might be hope yet
That the Prez can get Congress to roll over.

The old farmer aspied his son, Pard

The old farmer aspied his son, Pard
Beating off in the back of the yard.
He said, “Boy, by my life
I done got you a wife!”
Pard said, “But, her little arm gets too tard.”

That "ShamWow" guy Vince had to pay

That “ShamWow” guy Vince had to pay
For a fight with a hooker, they say
He wanted sex twice
For only one price.
She said, “We can’t do this all day.”

At the gynecologist's office, said Lee

At the gynecologist's office, said Lee,
“Doc, it itches down there where I pee.”
He said, “This is not nice,
I see scabies and lice,
And something else looking back at me.”

Sunny will attempt a world record

Sunny will attempt a world record
For by how many men she can be peckered.
1,000 is her goal
Less than 400 per hole,
Not at once! She will not be triple-deckered.

So Letterman finally got maried

So Letterman finally got married
To make a standard family for young Harry.
The house band was there
With a matrimonial aire
But Alan as a bridesmaid? How scary.

The President flexed his political muscle

The President flexed his political muscle
And GM caved in without a tussle.
He said, “Fire this guy.”
GM said, “Aye, Aye.”
And hired his brother-in-law, Russell.

Geneticist Rosemary Delph

Geneticist Rosemary Delph
Performed an experiment way off-the-shelf.
She took genes from a housecat;
Grafted them where she sat;
Hoping her pussy would lick itself.

Young Wilfred was accused of some filth.

Young Wilfred was accused of some filth.
“Did you fuck our neighbor’s wife, Wilf?”
He said, “Yes, I did,
I am a truthful kid.
And there’s no use in lying over drilled MILF.”

Anna said, "Hooking is a great life

Anna said, “Hooking is a great life
I get paid for sex without strife.
I undress him and fuck him,
Redress him and chuck him,
Then send him on home to his wife.”

Mary Ann loves to sing karaoke

Mary Ann loves to sing karaoke
In a bar that is dark and is smokey.
She pretends she is Britney,
Mariah and Whitney,
But she sounds like a frog; kinda croakey.

Jane sat at the end of the bar

Jane sat at the end of the bar
And surveyed the pickings so far.
Two gays and three fatties,
And not one sugar daddy,
So she diddled herself in the car.

To keep his family in meat and in flour

To keep his family in meat and in flour
Al climbed to the top of a tower.
With bullhorn in hand
He yelled ‘cross the land,
“I’ll lick pussy for 10 bucks an hour.”

Blog ending due to lawsuit

I am forced to stop posting as of this date, due to a lawsuit from Flo Avril, the owner of the Progressive Grill, defamation of character.