Lorraine started acting bizarrely

Lorraine started acting bizarrely;
Got tattooed and purchased a Harley.
Her rumbling bike
Is most foreplay-like
Which doesn’t bother her husband Charlie

My buddy knew he’d get up to bat

My buddy knew he’d get up to bat
When his blind date said, during their chat;
“Later, if you’re not busy
Can you help trim my pussy?”
Not knowing that she owned a cat.

After work, old Montgomery Munche

After work, old Montgomery Munche
Was surprised by his wife’s sucker punch.
She yelled, “Something’s amiss.
I can tell from your kiss. . .
Unless you had sushi for lunch.”

An Oregon fellow named Hoover

An Oregon fellow named Hoover
Patented a sexual maneuver.
He can, it is said,
Make a girl lose her head
And her shrieks can be heard in Vancouver.

There once was a fellow named Ross

There once was a fellow named Ross
Whose throat was cut, right straight across.
Seems that’s what they do
For attempting to screw
The wife of a Mafia boss.

I’ve heard in Tijuana, Mexico

I’ve heard in Tijuana, Mexico
They’ve closed down the old donkey show.
Those six shows a day
Was just too much, they say
For the donkey. Not Pamela Jo.

When the girls get together to chatter

When the girls get together to chatter
They often discuss how size does matter.
All other things equal,
They offer a sequel
To the man whose billfold is fatter.

There once was a woman named Joan

There once was a woman named Joan
Whose husband brought prostitutes home.
Each got 50 bucks
To give him a fuck,
And Joan got to be left alone.

I found when I first got my glasses;

I found when I first got my glasses;
I was being ignored by the lasses.
But, now when I say, “Hi,”
And they walk on by,
I get a better view of their asses.