New Moon will win the box office race

New Moon will win the box office race
With its hunky young vampires apace.
Every theatrical showing
Will start hormones flowing.
There won’t be a dry seat in the place.

UM vs OSU revisited

Of all the women down at Ohio State
There are none that I would make a bed mate.
The ones that I know
Don’t take care down below,
And let their panties just disintegrate.

All of the women at Michigan
Have too many itches in their britches, man.
To get their pants off
Makes me want to cough
And just makes me hungry for fish again.

The porn actress, Ginny McComb,

The porn actress, Ginny McComb,
Was applying some face wrinkle foam.
Her husband walked in
And frowning said, “Gin,
I hate when you bring your work home.”

During some less than effective screwing,

During some less than effective screwing,
Betty said, “Do you know what your doing?”
“I’m sorry,” said Harm,
“But I am from the farm.
It might help if you could start mooing.”

Marie and her landlord made a pact,

Marie and her landlord made a pact,
Since money was something she lacked,
The rent would be free
Including utilities,
If she fulfilled her oral contract.