There was a fellow named Tim Brick

There was a fellow named Tim Brick
Who sported a unusually slim prick.
The girls that he dated
All went home frustrated.
But, al least, it made a good limerick.

When her parents named their daughter, “Latrina”

When her parents named their daughter, “Latrina”
They couldn’t have been any meaner.
Then sisters, “Toiletta”
And poor “Headrietta”.
These people should get a subpoena.

There once was a fellow named Stats

There once was a fellow named Stats
Who cataloged his coworkers tats
By theme and design
From profane to divine,
Which he weaved into interesting chats.

There once was a fellow named Liam

There once was a fellow named Liam
Who managed a football museum;
Not a cool one, the fool,
It was for Liverpool,
Of which he would lecture, ad nauseam.

There once was a planet called Earth

There once was a planet called Earth
Who’s ecological wonders were dearth.
But if every blog reader
Does something to heed her,
She can regain her beauty and worth.
 
Celebrate Earth Day -- Do something to save the Earth

There once was a man named Joaquin

There once was a man named Joaquin
Who produced vignettes wholly obscene.
But far from amusing
They were quite confusing,
Meant to be read in the latrine.

The pastor at my local church

The pastor at my local church
Left his congregation in a lurch
When he found the Lord
In a bird in his yard
Which he keeps altar-side on a perch.

There once was a fellow named Lee

There once was a fellow named Lee
Whose dick hung down below his knee.
I heard him confide
That to get it “inside”
A girl must be as tall as a tree.

Montgomery moved to Belize

Montgomery moved to Belize
To spend all his time in the trees.
He left a life mild
To be naked and wild,
And let his balls swing ‘tween his knees.

Librarian Marian Farrien

Librarian Marian Farrien
Is a libertarian vegetarian.
Celery and carrots
And zucchini merits
A buryin’ in her spot ovarian.

As a baby, she was named “Dejuanna”,

As a baby, she was named “Dejuanna”,
A rememberance of her dear “Nana”.
But who would have guessed
It would become a request
For liquor, sex or marihuana.

The once was a young boy named Kelly

The once was a young boy named Kelly
Who wanted to read news on the telly.
He was ugly as sin
And his voice was too thin.
He plays blues for spare change in the elly.

Kelly Greene, bass guitar, The Greene Brothers

There once was a young boy named Hunter

There once was a young boy named Hunter
Who yearned to be a NFL punter.
But his leg was not strong
And his aim was all wrong.
He became a troubadour, an enchunter.

Hunter Greene, guitar, keyboards, harmonica, The Greene Brothers

There once was a young boy named Forrest

There once was a young boy named Forrest
Who wanted to become a florist.
But his strong allergies
To both pollen and bees
Changed his goal to rock and roll guitorist.

Forrest Greene, guitar, The Greene Brothers

There once was a fellow named Harry

There once was a fellow named Harry
With a burden he hardly could carry.
A high-school sports star
Reduced to selling cars,
And so self-centered it almost was scary.

There once was a fellow named Frank

There once was a fellow named Frank
Who closely resembled a tank.
His ass was immense;
For pants he wore tents
Which still barely covered his flank.

That tiger blood fueled Charlie Sheen

That tiger blood fueled Charlie Sheen,

Is a winning entertainment machine

      Whose roadshow of rage

      Got booed off the stage.

Before the big redemption scene.

I know that I have been a sinner.

I know that I have been a sinner.

I know that I could stand to be thinner.

        I know I’m a louse,

        But Publishers’ Clearing House

Says that I may already be a winner.