The waitresses down at the Ideal

The waitresses down at the Ideal
Are so gorgeous it makes your mind reel.
Each and every one
Will smile and say “Hon”,
While presenting each wondrous meal.

Today is the last show for Oprah

Today is the last show for Oprah.
How will her millions of fans coprah?
Well, there is O W N,
But, don’t worry my friend,
I hear that she’s running for Poprah.

Melinda, a Colonial lass

Melinda, a Colonial lass
Was a barmaid in olde Boston, Mass.
Slinging whiskey and beer
And swinging her rear
o show that he possessed lots of . . . class.

Annette, an administrative assistant

Annette, an administrative assistant
Told her boss, “I must be insistent.
No more ‘working’ late.
The orgasms are great,
But, I’m afraid they’re not at all consistent.”

Bye to Randy Savage, the “Macho Man”

Bye to Randy Savage, the “Macho Man”;
The ultimate wrestling showman.
His clothes made me wonder,
But his voice was like thunder,
And his body was built just like Conan.*

Rest in Peace, Randy “Macho Man” Savage.

*The barbarian, not the comedian.

There once was a woman named Mary

There once was a woman named Mary
Who thought Friday, the 13th was too scary.
So she crawled back in bed
With pillows over ther head
Where she died of acute aphyxiliary.

Osama Bin Laden is dead.

Osama Bin Laden is dead.
Killed by a shot to the head.
Are we closer to peace,
Or closure, at least?
I'm shooting for hope over dread.

God bless America!

There once was a fellow named Sizemore

There once was a fellow named Sizemore
Whose small cock was a bit of an eyesore.
If he had more size,
He might get more sighs,
And get to pry open those thighs more.