There once was a gal named Victoria

There once was a gal named Victoria

Who lived at the Waldorf-Astoria,

         But not as a guest;

         She helped men who were stressed,

Like a free-lance therapist / whoria.

A tobacconist down in Havana

A tobacconist down in Havana

Made the finest cigara cubana.

         Rolled by his two hands

         ‘Tween the mammary glands

Of Maria, a local putana.

There were sisters named Tina and Faye

There were sisters named Tina and Faye

Who were crazy cat ladies, they say.

         The girls in their free time

         Would each hold a feline

And play with their pussies all day.