There once was a woman named Paige

There once was a woman named Paige
Who wanted to work on the stage.
            She got her big chance
            When asked, “Can you dance
In a bar, in a thong, in a cage?”

There once was a woman named Shay

There once was a woman named Shay
Who said, “I don’t give it away.
            To sample my treats,
            Keep your flowers and sweets.
It’s 100 bucks for a lay!”

There once was a woman named Diana

There once was a woman named Diana
Who spent  her time in a cabana.
            She hand painted shells
            To sell to the “swells”
Which kept her in rum and bananas.

There once was a fellow named Douglas

There once was a fellow named Douglas
Who had no interest is the jugless.
            He could only be seen
            With a Double D queen
To accentuate his natural thugness.

A bio-chemistry major named Brett

A bio-chemistry major named Brett
Got oral from most women he met.
            Because he spliced his genes
            With ripe cocoa beans,
And now his semen tastes like chocolate.

Thanks to Ron “Tater Salad” White for the idea.

There once was a woman named Sonja

There once was a woman named Sonja
Who suffered from walking pneumonia
            When a coughing attack
            Took her family aback,
She asked, “Did I get any on ya?”

There once was a woman named Norah

There once was a woman named Norah;
A well-renowned fine art restorer.
            Who removes the fig leaves
            Which thoroughly peeves
Those who like fauna covered by flora.

There once was a woman named Celia

There once was a woman named Celia
Who made every attempt to concealia
            Her bountiful breasts,
            Expect by requests,
As long as no one copps a feelia.

There once was a fellow named Lane

There once was a fellow named Lane
Who tried very hard to explain
            To his wife of one day
            “We all look that way.
Any longer could rupture a membrane.

There once was a fellow named Cooper

There once was a fellow named Cooper
Whose left testicle was a drooper.
            But his wife didn’t care
            What went on way down there.
She just kept her eyes closed.  What a trouper!

There once was a woman named Dawn

There once was a woman named Dawn
Who woke up to find herself gone.
            She searched everywhere
            But she wasn’t there,
So she stole all her jewelery to pawn.

There once was a rapper named Mitchum

There once was a rapper named Mitchum
Who said, “I can’t find a girl for my kitchum.
            Of all of my bitches
            No one cooks nutritches”
Heart-healthy meals, so I just ditchum.

There once was a biker named Frost

There once was a biker named Frost
Who consistently found himself lost.
            His lady screamed “Turn here,”
            Directly in his ear,
But he just didn’t like being bossed.

There once was a biker named Candy

There once was a biker named Candy.
With his bike tools, he always was handy.
            He had a deft touch,
            With the motor or clutch,
And  the parts of his old lady, Mandy.

There once was a mother named Mother

There once was a mother named Mother
Who had one son and ten another.
            One son she named Son
            And too the other one.
But they just called each other Brother.

There once was a biker named X

There once was a biker named X
Whose perfect day started with sex.
            With some more at eleven,
            A quickie before seven,
Then a threesome that included his ex.

A biker chick known as Godiva

A biker chick known as Godiva
Rode her bike nude to feel aliva.
            She wore a leather thong
            As she rode along
To remain a unchapped lipped surviva.

There was an old lady named Betty

There was an old lady named Betty.
In her ways, she was very setty.
            She ate only cake, in
            Which she added bacon.
And each night, she bathed in spaghetti.