There once was a fellow named Digby

There once was a fellow named Digby
Who wanted to marry a pigmy.
            He said, “I’m too short.
            This is a last resort
‘Cause none of the other girls dig me.”

There once was a woman named Sloan

There once was a woman named Sloan
Who bought a second-hand smart phone.
            It made her go insane
            When it filled up her brain
With a stranger’s life though the earphone.

There once was a canner named Cannon

There once was a canner named Cannon
Who spent every September cannin’
            He put up more preserves
            Than an army deserves
According to the “Yes I Can” canon.

There once was a fellow named Plummer

There once was a fellow named Plummer
Who desperately wanted a Hummer.
            Not a big SUV,
            But a BJ U C,
'Cause he had not had one since Summer.