The arrests of the top guys at FIFA

The arrests of the top guys at FIFA*
Should not be beyond our beliefa.
            They developed the knack
            Of handling a kickback
Not like a defenda – a thiefa.

*Sorry, I don’t know that the letters mean.  I don’t speak soccer.

A 20-year-old man named Owen

A 20-year-old man named Owen;
At age 8, suddenly stopped growin’.
            Except his manhood
            Which matured as it should.
Wearin’ shorts, he can’t keep it from showin’.

There once was a woman named Lourdes

There once was a woman from Lourdes
Who preferred the back seats of old Fordes
            For her midnight affairs
            With one man or with pairs,
Or even with oddly shaped gourdes.

There once was a woman named Lily

There once was a woman named Lily;
A beautiful, virginal filly.
            “That place where they pee
            Poking inside of me?”
She said, “It just seems rather silly.”

We see “Happy Memorial Day”

We see “Happy Memorial Day”
Plastered all over Facebook today.
            Remember the price
            Of their sacrifice.
It’s not just a day off with pay.

Remember the heroes of Flight 93.

There once was a fellow named Letterman.

There once was a fellow named Letterman.
On TV there just was no better man.
            For so many years,
            Each one of his peers
Has admitted to being a debtor, man.

There once was a woman named Carole

There once was a woman named Carole
Who lived in a library carrel
            Where she studied at length
            The weakness and strength
Of Charles Dickens’ “The Christmas Carol”.

On this National Day of the Limerick

On this National Day of the Limerick
We offer to you not a Grimerick,
            Not a Slim- or a Trim-,
            Certainly not a Prim-.
From the archives, we present a Quimerick.

From September 28, 2008

“I’m a big margarita,” said Kim,

Pouring tequila in her quim.
            She squirted fresh lime juice,
            All over her cooce
And even put salt on the rim.





 

There once was an old man named Don

There once was an old man named Don
Who never has anything on
            His car radio
            ‘Cept that nut, Rush Limbo
or that Hadany fellow named Sean.

There are two young fellows named Taylor

There are two young fellows named Taylor;
One a tinker, the other a sailor
            Who play their guitars
            In the finest of bars
And must carry their laurels in a trailer.

Experience DC Taylor tonight.

There once was a fellow named Hanigan

There once was a fellow named Hanigan
Who’ll not get an all-over tan again.
            He did not remember
            To sunscreen his member.
His lonely wife waits ‘til he can again.