There once was a girl named Marlene

There once was a girl named Marlene
Who daily ate a single sardine
For breakfast and lunch,
But for supper a bunch
Of cabbage on a buttered saltine.

There once was a Roman named Nero

There once was a Roman named Nero
Who history says was a zero.
          With his ciry in flames
          He played one of his games;
An beta of Violin Hero.

A well-endowed fellow named Joch

A well-endowed fellow named Joch
Put all of his clothes in the wash.
          When he answered the door
          To the lady next door,
All she could say to him was “Gosh!”

There was a movie-goer named Max

There was a movie-goer named Max
Who never bought those movie-snacks.
          He was arrested one day
          By the dread NSA
For failure to pay his movie-tax.

There was a math student named Sy

There was a math student named Sy
Who found the last digit of P
          His professor said “Wow!”
          And then simply “How?”
Sy said, “I multiplied it by i.

There once was a gal named Marie

There once was a gal named Marie
Who gave out her blowjobs for free.
          With your pants on the floor
          She would bolt toward the door
With your wallet, your watch and car key.

A gay football player named Weavar

A gay football player named Weavar
Played with an athletic fever.
          He started in South Bend
          As a rookie tight end
And retired as a pro wide receiver.

There once was a woman nmed Gardener;

There once was a woman nmed Gardener;
A young amateur penis hardenner.
          She went without knowing
          That she causedg such growing
So rather than blame her, let’s pardon her..

There once was a woman named Kara

There once was a woman named Kara
Whose face and hair could not be faira.
          With breasts so well sized
          That other women despised
But made men just stand there and stara.

There once was a woman named Faith

There once was a woman named Faith

Who’s skin was a white as a wraith.

          She never went out

          When the sun was about

And used only bleach in her baith.

There once was a woman named Cher

There once was a woman named Cher

Who never trimmed her public hair.

          So under her frocks

          She was sporting dreadlocks,

Which kept men from going down there.

There once was a fellow named Holloway

There once was a fellow named Holloway

Who thought of women in a shallow way.

          Be she sweetheart or shrew,

          She’s just something to screw

With a personal goal or a gal-a-day.

There once was a woman from Licking

There once was a woman from Licking
Whose boyfriend said she’d get a licking

          If he ever found out

          She was out and about,

And, it wasn’t just him she was licking.

There once was a fellow named Ray

There once was a fellow named Ray

Who liked to watch girls walk away.

          He liked breasts just fine

          But the view from behind

Reminded him why he wasn’t gay.

I love education TV

I love education TV.

On my new favorite, TLC,

          A woman unfurled

          The largest breasts in the world

At size 102 triple Z.