There once was a fellow named Daniel
Who looked like a old cocker spaniel.
On
all fours, he walked.
He
barked when he talked.
He had been made from the wrong manual.
There once was a woman named Kirsten
Who knew a secret and was burstin’
To
tell her classmate, Bill,
About
his girlfriend, Jill,
And that he simply would not be the
first in.
There once was a young girl named Jenny
To tweeted to her followers many,
“My
birthday’s come and gone
And
I’m still all alone.
So don’t ask. I didn’t get any."
There once was a fellow named Ernie
A retired corporate attorney
Keeping
his clients
In
legal compliance
For so long just made his brain
churney.
There once was a woman named Jackie
Who knew that her wardrobe was tacky.
She
liked her tube tops,
Daisy
Dukes and flip flops.
She considered it her form of wacky.
There once was a fellow named Muff
Who was not good-looking enough
To
get intertwined
With
any girl but the blind,
Which made dating exceedingly rough.
There once was a fellow named Hanger
Who drank his first Harvey Wallbanger.
Since
he was alone,
He
used his cell phone
To show potential GFs his whanger.
There once was a fellow named Boone;
The first man to have sex on the moon.
With
one-sixth the gravity,
He
sated his depravity
With an inflatable girl he named,
“June”.
There once was a gal named Michelle
Who’s probably going to hell.
He
stabbed her man, Jack,
In
the square of the back
When he asked her, “’Chelle, what’s
that smell?”
There once was a man named McKay
Who worked on his lawn each McDay.
He
spread fertilizer,
Watered
like a geyser,
Now he can’t keep the grass at McBay.
There once was a gal named Darlene
Who looked like her sister, Marlene;
'Cept
Dar had broad hips
While
Mar had full lips.
But neither had boobs like Charlene.
There once was a fellow named Perry
Who everyone thought was a fairy.
Seems
he was very small –
Only
9” tall,
With long graceful wings like a canary.
There once was a woman named Paige
Who wanted to work on the stage.
She
got her big chance
When
asked, “Can you dance
In a bar, in a thong, in a cage?”
There once was a woman named Shay
Who said, “I don’t give it away.
To
sample my treats,
Keep
your flowers and sweets.
It’s 100 bucks for a lay!”
There once was a woman named Diana
Who spent her time in a cabana.
She
hand painted shells
To
sell to the “swells”
Which kept her in rum and bananas.
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