There once was a man from Cheyenne

There once was a man from Cheyenne
Who wore on his head a peypenne
Of aluminum foil
In order to foil
The CIA-sponsored psyscenne.

There was a young soldier from Charleston

There was a young soldier from Charleston
While stationed in Paris he parleson
Or two phrases
Which barely phases
“Thise purty young Parisite girlsnon.

A libidinous gal from Olympia

A libidinous gal from Olympia
Was distressed as her man became wimpia
So, to change the love channel
She ditched all her flannel
And wore teddies and camis much skimpia.

There once was a woman from Richmond

There once was a woman from Richmond
Who found her kinck-knacks and kichsond.
She let out a torrent
Of words so abhorrent,
That she filled up the jar labled, “Bichfond”.

There once was a gal from Montpelier

There once was a gal from Montpelier
Who on a first date was “frontfelier”.
The first things she grabs
Are the biceps and abs,
Beause of all men, whe wontstelier.

There was a guy from Salt Lake City

There was a guy from Salt Lake City
Who asked people to alt take pity.
“Heavens above!
I’ve fallen in love
With a woman with defalt fake tity.”

There was a pastry chef diwn in Austin;

There was a pastry chef diwn in Austin;
10 poblanos he absently taustin
His chocolate cake batter,
And to worsen the matter,
10 more ended up in the fraustin.

There was a young fellow from Nashville

There was a young fellow from Nashville
Who worked as a cook in a hashmille.
‘Til his boss showed chagrin
At the state of his skin
Since he’d oddly stopped taking his rashpille.

There once was a gal from Pierre.

There once was a gal from Pierre.
Who was born with fluorescent red hierre.
The cause, said the Doc
Goes back to Woodstock
And something her Mother did thierre.

A dyslexic man from Columbia

A dyslexic man from Columbia
Said, “Yale I’d like a allumbia.
Skill reading but my
But I’ll hurt will try.
Probably otherwise I’ll bumbia.

There once was a man from Providence

There once was a man from Providence
Who found his car covered with shovidence
So he attacked his neighbor
With a Civil War saber
Without gathering any ovidence.

There once was a guy in Harrisburge

There once was a guy in Harrisburge
Whose many friends cried out, “Don’t scarrisVirge!
Don’t think us prudes,
But we don’t care for nudes.
So please restrain your barrisurge.”

There once was a fellow from Salem;

There once was a fellow from Salem;
When he met girls, he tried to nalem.
When they said, “No way!”
He would not go away
Until the cops showed up to jalem.

A chef in Oklahoma City

A chef in Oklahoma City
Made a dish – Okraroma Grity
Italian from the South
Is good for your mouth –
According to an Opradroma Skity.

There once was a man from Columbus

There once was a man from Columbus
Who could not dance tangos or sumbus.
He was ill-adept
At the simplest step.
His box step was more like a rhumbus.

A young geneticist from Bismarck

A young geneticist from Bismarck
Sucessfully cross-bred a grissharck.
Combining fur and fins
Is where it begins/
I hope that our future is not thisdarck.

There once wqas a fellow from Raleigh

There once wqas a fellow from Raleigh
Who went everywhere with a daleigh.
Not like Barbie (that tart),
But a little wheeled cart
Because the guy thinks he’s a traleigh.

There once was a fellow from Albany

There once was a fellow from Albany
Who while ambulating saw a smalpany.
He asked, “What’s the sound
Of a coin on the ground?”
I just hate it when he gets alzany.

There was a boy from Santa Fe

There was a boy from Santa Fe
Who wanted a pet manta re.
Although far from the ocean
He maintained the motion
That fervent prayer just might granta we.

There once was a fellow from Trenton

There once was a fellow from Trenton
Who asked his wife just what she spenton
Her hair, shoes and clothes,
Which every man knows
Is something he must relenton.